twisted logic - when one door closes, another opens

Saturday, November 15, 2003

dreams.

had many many of them in e 18 yrs so far, but a few are remembered more than e rest. e few tat recurred just once in a while.

furthest memory was of this dream about batman. was in a toy store, and suddenly all e cartoon characters came to life. somehow only rem batman. dun realli rem what he did liao, but can rem i used to like batman a lot a lot a lot. even made a mask n cape for myself.

den came e weirder dreams as i grew up. dreamt of my old house, near e lift area. there was this stretch of apartments on e same floor tat i nv walk by before. its one of those hdb blocks where e lift only serves three of e twelve floors, and i lived on e sixth, which was one of e lift floors. den in e dream, e corridor that led to e houses i nv walked past before suddenly became just one unit. many many times, i dreamt of climbing over e wall, hanging onto e edge, and swinging myself into that unit thru e window. always succeeded. when i go inside, there will always be no one around. i tink i just walk around. e house is unusually big for a hdb one.

tat was part one. part two was e lift. sometimes its e old house one, but more often its e one at my grandma's house there. always got stuck in e lift in my dreams. either tat, or it will go up very very fast, to a weird weird floor. like e 60th floor in a 11 storey flat. e buttons always wont work. i get very scared, even in e dream. will feel like once e lift door closes, my fate is like sealed. if it stops, n e door opens, den good, at least i can get out. if not, i just wait, n wait, and hopefully it stops in e end. e lift often malfunctions, leavin me stuck in between two floors. den i'll try to force open e door, n climb out. again in this dream, there isnt a single soul around other than me. btw, this lift here was also e one tat i took by myself for e first time in my real life. think i was 5 at that time, couldnt find my grandpa while we were walking downstairs, so i took e lift up by myself. was real scared then.

den it was e escalators. in a big big shopping centre. e escalators are unusually long, and dangerous. e side handles are so low tat even as a child i seem to be able to look right over it and down below. e shopping centre is veh veh high, n somehow i am always travelling to e highest floor in my dreams. will go to this comic shop all e time. but e shop always changes location. sometimes its to e left, sometimes to e right. but always happen to find it in e end, maybe cos its always at e highest floor. den i'll find all e unheard of comics, and everi single time when i try to buy or open a book, i will wake up. everi single time.

once i dreamt of this expressway. someone was driving e car, dunno who tho. den sped veh fast, on e rather empty winding road. made this veh quick turn, and ended up right at this special one lot car park. den i got off e car, n e next thing i noe i'm in e middle of this cop chase. apparently some terrorists are on e run. there was a lot of ppl around, so i helped n join in e chase. we caught up w e evil-doers, den suddenly they started throwing hand grenades at us. we hastily found some roof for cover, but e grenades did not explode. i woke up abruptly, not knowin e ending. this dream havent recurred yet.

den there was this veh memorable once. got shot my a gun. and felt e pain. right thru my heart, e pain was drawing life outta me, but somehow my mind was still clear enuff to feel e hurting bullet. it realli hurted, n soon i couldnt speak. guess tat is how getting shot feels like? i dunno. dun ever want to know.

n my dreams sometimes i can force it to continue one. like when i got awoken by e loud ringing of e phone, or suddenly got a shock n wake up. i just go straight back to sleep, tinking bout e pt when e dream left off. den e dream just flows into continuation smoothly.

many a times, i could also force myself out of a dream. like when e robber is about to stab me w a knife. or when i could expect wad e ending would be like. i just dunno do what, something like shaking my head veh quickly, den i'll wake up right away. in real life, always do e same thing also. when i watch a drama serial n when waht is going to happen next is predictable n i cant bear to watch, i just walk away. when i tink what some ppl are going to do tat i dun want to find out, i just run away. im good at running away i guess.

dreams are weird things. weirdly interesting. they often tell e future, my future. premonitions come once in a while, or maybe its just deja vu. i duno la, dreams tell a lot, yet explains veh little. maybe tats why life is meant to be lived in reality. only den can u question, feel, understand, seek out an answer, and truly experience life n emotions as it is meant to be. i dun get any answers frm my dreams, yet i still like them. dreams are like fortune tellers, they tell u all sort of hard to understand things tat will somehow fall into place soon, and always they tell u to seek out e ans for urself. guess life i simply about finding ans. to leave e world w an ans will be a happy departure, n until then, we are constantly reminded by our very dreams about e endless qns in life, and be urged to explore n discover, believe in our dreams, shape our life in such a way tat we will truly be a happy person one day.

hengster @ 9:42 PM
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