twisted logic - when one door closes, another opens

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

hahahahha 2nd blog of e day! so long nv write liao so now tat i got started tink i'll write one more... was laughing at myself when i looked at my previous entry... kaos i must have been stressed until e pt of insanity a few hours ago man to write all that crap... nvm leave it there to remind me of e day i failed math... hais...

okai its tuesday todae... two more blardy days and prelims will be finished! yeah den i shall reward myself for all e hours i spent studying (okay maybe just a few hours) by slacking for at least two whole days before i touch my alevel stuff again.. hahha...final paper is econs on thurs afternoon... and tmr's physics..hopefully it will be easy, but most likely not...cos paper 3 was easy..but i happened to screw it up too so aiyah tmr have to do well...

okay enuff bout prelims haha... walau dunno how sian of it alredi.. i got like 1.5 mths more before i slack 2 yrs of my life away in e army! hahah cant wait for it to come... army shud be fun... running around all day carrying rifles and water cans... no books in e jungles... frEeee foOd all week long... even got supper provided... it will be like paradise for people who spent e prev 12 yrs of their life buried deep inside mountains of books and notes... i mean e person who made ns compulsory is real good... farsighted... haha...

was reading naruto comic just now... book 18 is out finally! hmm..it's getting quite draggy e story..but still nice..e whole story of naruto got this kinda patriotic heartwarming feeling to it... like how e ninjas are willing to do anything to protect e ppl they love and they village they spent so many yrs building up... like tat kinda setting... budden no such thing in reality... we are so focused on making money tat we neglect other things so nearly entirely... and i dont tink many ppl will be so noble as to sacrifice himself for e sake of others in this era... we were just raised not to be so brave i guess... we just have to follow e system and blah blah somehow someday we'll be able to make our mark... hais just empty promises on e ministry's part...

hahah.. oh and i tink everione should tidy up their room! as in really tidy up... i spent like sat and sun last week cleaning parts of my room... and walau...i cant believe i got such a collection of dust....its like so much dust tat i can make a small hill out of it liao...maybe cos i live on very high floors so very windy lotsa dust..budden tats no excuse for keeping so much dirt in e room...felt quite accomplished to have cleaned up such a mess..oh..and i spent two days budden it's like only 10% of my room tidied..hahah imagine e level of messiness...

talking bout living on high floors... i dont understand while singapore will allow e building of 50-storeyed HDB flats... i mean it will be how unsafe... power failure den u have to walk like 50 floors to get to e void deck.. den wad if got things like fire? den how... take lift? lets say it takes 1.5 secs to move down 1 floor...it will take like 75 secs to escape..by tat time e entire block will be gone liao if e fire big enuff.. and wad if things like fly out of e window accidentally? if its paper den it probably will fly all e way to indonesia given e initial starting height and e wind strength.. if it's a flower pot den by e time it reach e ground it would have become a comet liao! walau...how unsafe..build so high for wad...later strong winds den e whole building shaky how?!! walau... den den ppl on e 50th floor have to breathe on wad...oxygen tanks? cos e atmosphere up there will be like thinner than at e top of our famous bukit timah hill... okai..hahah...actualli e real reason i oppose it is cos i kinda scared of heights larh.. realli... normally will try to stick to e wall and walk when i walk on high buildings..hahah... so if next time by e time i buy hdb flats if i have to buy those 50storey kind i rather go malaysia and build a one storey nice and safe and non-shaky bungalow...

okai... dammit it's 6.30 liao...totally wasted my whole afternoon playing computer and reading comics... time to mug... heh two more days only... i shall perservere!!

hengster @ 6:28 PM
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in this world
there are only two kinda people
the good
and the evil

people are never static
cos the grass seems
greener than green
on the other side

"just step across e line a bit
see how it's like
see why evil is so appealing
i won't stay long
i'm sure i can easily return"
and that's wad everyone tinks
before
they are one step too far

good exists because there is evil
and evil prevails because good is there
but some day
good or evil may win
but on that day
there will be no difference
no matter who wins
cos good needs evil to seem good

so it's all relative
policemen are heroic
cause they fight robbers
bush is saving e world
cos he fights saddam and laden
budden
saddam and laden are good too
cos they fight bush

there is no real good
there is no real evil
so you can't blame ppl for being evil
just like you can't stop ppl from being good

people are all different
on a goodness scale from 0 to 10
they are like random continous variables
falling anywhere in between

and since the start of time
e majority always wins
cos numbers matter
when the world seems to be filled
with good evil-fighters
den evil seems all so wrong
but wad if evil is dominant
den will good-fighting
be good?

i mean what e hell
e entire thing about being alive
is such a dilemma
you can never understand anything
without being burdened with more qns
there is no right or wrong in this world
cos this world offers no absolute ans
no matter what path i choose
i'm always right
because this is my world
i own it

everyone alive
is given equal powers
but in different forms
some people have money
some have talent
some have nothing but a kind heart
and some seem to have nothing at all

it matters not what you have
but what you can have

sometimes you may wonder
what do you live for?
no pt asking others
cos no one can give an answer
to ur very unique question
u may be scared
to try and search for an answer
but failure is invented
so tat success can be appreciated
u are entitled to make mistakes
as many times as u wish
until u see e light
guiding u to ur very unique answer

my light kinda flickers
that's why sometimes
it brings me to e wrong places
gets me lost
budden
i cant be so sure tat i'm actually lost
tat may be where my fate lies
but aiyah
how will i know?

so it's like playing a damn long RPG game
that lasts an average of 70 yrs
u gain levels thru fighting enemies
and earning experience pts
and u learn to cast spells
and wield weapons
learn to buy armor and shields
to protect urself
and choose ur job or masters
to suit ur talents
but ultimately
some day
when you fight e final boss
you will realise
you are fighting yourself
fighting for an answer
to why u spend that 70yrs
e way u spent it
and even if u get an answer
e ending theme will eventually play
a hero's tale get's a happy ending
and it will just end there
as in really end, game over
what have u really learnt?

just like all those time spent playing rpgs
what have u learnt?
it's no use
searching for answers
when u are not sure
if u want an answer in e first place
being alive puts u in such a fix
tat's worse than a dilemma
it's not like 2 choose 1
it's probably infinity choose infinity

budden
maybe
in e end still u have to trust ur light
e light tat guides
it's e only thing u can rely on
so aiyah got something better than nothing
maybe it will work?
e true power of ur light
is not truth
but hope
hope is e greatest power
cos it has no limits
needs no requirements
everyone can hope

maybe someday
hope will bring me an answer
and answer tat i have seeked
for so many yrs already
to bring me to where i belong
where i can live happily ever after

--- just some irrelevant random thoughts from my messed up mind after that insane prelims math paper 2 today

hengster @ 4:38 PM
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